Tonight I'm writing to you for the sake of writing, Blogger. A lot's been going on, and a lot of people are wanting to be social with me. It's strange. I finally organized the digital realm of my life, and that's pretty satisfying. A few bugs, but it's down to the point where I can finally relax with my laptop. Good, you know?
Otherwise, things with friends alright. Plenty of activity to keep me satisfied and plenty of downtime to keep me holding. Situations with the female populace are strained, of course. Things with her are testing, and I never know exactly how to react. Everything within me is aching to reach out to her and sweep her up... be romantic and such, and promise her that it will all be different when I'm better. I can't, though... as much as I want to be with her and make her happy. I don't even know what it is, though. Completely ignoring the fact that she's dating some guy, now, I just can't seem to keep a level head when I'm dating her. Me, the master of control, can't even avoid envy with the one girl I've ever loved.
*shrug* I hope that someday I can be the kind of man that some girl would need.

It's alright, though. I suppose. Better to have loved and lost? I'm just doing my best to take it with a grain of salt, these days. Really, I'm just glad she's happy with someone.

all has changed
and i'm the only thing the same
am i lying to myself
this dark windowed house is all i have to blame
for the degree from which i fell